if i can run in heels then i can drive
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
