Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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