He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
