I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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