No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
