one word: firstdatebathroomanal
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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