I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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