Can Purell be used as lube?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize