Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You did what with his pubic hair?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
