I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
