Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
