i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
