If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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