he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
