Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
