Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just puked most of my soul out..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
