I'm so fucking centered right now
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
