You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
