did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
