we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
