You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
