Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
