that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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