It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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