Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
