so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
