She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
