Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
