Don't you send me to vm
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
