is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
