ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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