i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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