i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
