I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Green mimosas i think yes
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
