North Korea, Best Korea!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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