Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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