now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize