I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
