If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
