When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
