I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize