I hate your face
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize