what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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