TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
