So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
