Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
