legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
