When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
