i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
