So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
