so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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