I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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