Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
