It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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