I wish I could punch you in the face.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
