Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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