why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
