he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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