We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
vagina is talking i cant
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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