k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
